Social media has become a big part of many people’s lives. We get it – you want to share things going on in your life that are important to you or things that you think might inspire or encourage others, like your journey as a gestational surrogate. However, publicizing your surrogacy story means more than just receiving likes and congratulations from your friends and family. It also means answering potentially tough questions in a public space for all to see.
If you’re considering sharing your surrogacy journey on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or any other social media channel, check out these tips so you can make sure you’re not leaving a damaging digital footprint.
Tip 1. Remember Rule #1: Everything you post online lives online, forever
The age-old warnings your parents or teachers told you are 100% true: anything you post online stays there indefinitely. You’ve probably seen it firsthand:
- A popular YouTuber, an Instagram Influencer, or even an A-list celebrity makes a controversial social media post.
- The post gets deleted.
- It gets re-posted by others who saved it through a screenshot or copied and pasted it elsewhere.
So, it’s important to be careful whenever you write a post because you never know how your words may surface again in the future.
Tip 2. Always keep the intended parents in mind
Remember, as a gestational surrogate, anything you post may be an extension of your intended parents. The child you are growing belongs to someone else, so you should always keep this in mind whenever you make a post.
Going back to rule #1, only post what you would feel comfortable with your intended parents seeing. Also, keep identifying information about your intended parents private. If you’re referencing them on social media, consider using their initials instead of their names.
Tip 3. Be open with your intended parents
Some intended parents like to keep their lives more private than others, and they may not want certain things posted online, like ultrasound pictures or the names of their future children. Ask your intended parents what they are comfortable with being posted on social media by having an open dialogue with them about it. Always get permission before tagging them in posts too.
The things that you are comfortable with posting online are equally important. When talking about it with your intended parents, make your preferences clear to them. Let them know what you are and are not comfortable with being posted online, such as pictures of your belly or the experiences you’ve had while being pregnant. For instance, do you want the whole world to know that you haven’t been able to keep a meal down in weeks due to morning sickness or that your feet are so bloated your only options are your significant other’s size 13 Crocs? If you’d rather keep things like that between you and your intended parents, be sure to let them know.
Tip 4. Consider confidentiality concerns
Being too open with what you share on social media can not only cause problems with your relationship between you and your intended parents, it can even lead to legal issues. In your surrogacy contract, there may be privacy clauses that you should be aware of that may limit what you can and cannot post online (or in other places as well, like in face-to-face conversations with people who are not your doctor or your intended parents). Always be sure to refer to your contract to be certain you understand what constitutes a violation of privacy.
Tip 5. Answer questions honestly but maintain your boundaries
People are going to ask you questions about your surrogacy. It’s inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you always have to answer them. It’s a good rule of thumb to answer questions honestly and respectfully, but don’t feel obligated to answer if someone makes you feel uncomfortable or asks you to reveal too much personal information. Be open, but always maintain your boundaries and let people know when they’ve gone too far. Plus, there’s nothing wrong with the answer, “Google it!”
Above all, the most important thing to remember when sharing your surrogacy journey on social media is to maintain open communication with your intended parents. By keeping an open dialogue and getting permission from your intended parents, you respect their boundaries and ultimately strengthen your relationship with them.
With that in mind, you should always follow the advice of “Ask first, post later” when contemplating whether or not to post something about your surrogacy journey on social media. Because when you’re sharing your journey, you’re not just sharing your own story; you’re sharing the story of your intended parents, who may not want their story to be made public.
Learn more about surrogacy
If you’re considering becoming a gestational surrogate and want to share your journey on social media, it’s important to be mindful of the potential consequences and to communicate openly with your intended parents. By following the tips outlined in this article, you can protect your privacy and the privacy of the intended parents while still sharing your experience with those who support you.
If you have any questions or concerns about sharing your surrogacy journey on social media, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Our experienced team can provide you with more information and guidance on navigating this aspect of your surrogacy journey.
