Our Surrogacy Stories: Tosha

Tosha’s path to becoming a surrogate was paved with empathy and understanding, having witnessed close family and friends struggle with infertility. Her decision was deeply influenced by these personal experiences, particularly a family member’s heartbreaking journey. This profound empathy led Tosha to embark on a surrogacy journey that would change not just her life but also the lives of the intended parents and their newborn twins – a boy and a girl, welcomed into the world on September 1, 2023.

As we share her story, we hope it inspires and enlightens others about the beautiful possibilities of surrogacy.

What inspired or motivated you to become a surrogate? Was there a particular moment or story that influenced your decision?

I watched family struggle to have children. Then, when it finally happened for them, she ended up being really sick to where the doctors wanted them to end the pregnancy. I watched them continue to struggle for over six years, and they finally just had their miracle baby in August! I have also watched multiple close friends go through infertility; some lucky to be able to end up having kids of their own, others not so lucky.

Who were your biggest supporters during your surrogacy journey? How did they help you navigate the challenges and celebrate the milestones?

My intended parents, spouse, and parents helped by being a listening ear, offering support and advice in any way they could.

How would you describe your relationship with the intended parents? Were there any special moments or memories that you shared together?

We are family now! They have made it very clear we are their extended family! We have so many memories that we created after babies were here.

How did your decision to become a surrogate impact your personal life, relationships, and daily routine? Were there any unexpected changes or challenges?

Everyone around me was overjoyed that I was going to be a surrogate and proud/happy of me and for me helping another family. I feel like my husband only has more love for me after watching me do such a selfless thing for the most amazing couple. My daily routine wasn’t hindered too much. Most of the time, I didn’t notice I was pregnant. I was very small the entire pregnancy.

What advice would you give to someone considering becoming a surrogate?

Think about what you most want at the end of the journey and find IPs who align with your views/goals/interests/hobbies. I was very open coming into a journey, and now that I’ve gone through this journey, I am going to be more picky with my second. And in a good way! I feel like I was spoiled with my first journey having such great IPs that if/when I have another journey, I want to try and have a similar outcome!

How did you prepare yourself mentally and physically for the surrogacy process? Were there any resources, books, or information that you found particularly enlightening?

I went in knowing 100% they were not my child/children. That helped so much. I view my surrobabies as more of a niece/nephew situation than a son/daughter situation.

Would you consider being a surrogate again in the future? Why or why not?

Absolutely! I loved everything about my journey!

Looking back on your surrogacy journey, is there anything you would do differently?

I wish I could have met my IPs sooner, but that 100% depends on both surrogate and IPs location.

How was your post-delivery experience, both physically and emotionally? How did you feel watching the intended parents finally meet their baby?

I was overjoyed and cried when they met them. Emotionally dealing with anxiety, but I don’t think that’s so much from the surrogacy but everything else going on in my life plus the hormones! Physically great!

What comment(s) or question(s) from strangers do/did you get most often? Was there anything funny or strange?

How could I give my baby away- not my baby to begin with!
How do I not become attached- knowing this baby isn’t mine and has amazing parents to care for them.

What made you choose your intended parents? Was there something in particular that stood out to you?

A lot of our interests/hobbies aligned. And if I’m being honest, they picked me! I was still breastfeeding, and they waited for me!

Get started on your own journey as a gestational surrogate

If Tosha’s journey has inspired you, sparked your curiosity, or ignited a desire to explore the path of surrogacy, we invite you to reach out to us at Fairfax Surrogacy. Whether you’re just beginning to consider surrogacy or are ready to take the next step, our team is here to guide, support, and provide you with all the information you need. Join us in this remarkable journey of creating families and sharing the gift of life. Contact Fairfax Surrogacy today to start your own extraordinary story of giving and love.