5 Mistakes to Avoid as a First-Time Surrogate

Becoming a surrogate, especially for the first time, is a path filled with excitement, hope, and a fair share of uncertainties. For many first-time surrogates, the process is often surrounded by myths and misconceptions. The decision to become a surrogate is a life-changing one, and like any significant journey, it comes with its own set of challenges and learning curves.

In this blog post, we’ll shed light on some common mistakes that first-time surrogates might encounter, helping you to start on your surrogacy journey with confidence.

Mistake #1: Assuming the Surrogacy Process is Quick

One of the most common misconceptions among first-time surrogates is the belief that the surrogacy process is a quick journey from your application to your embryo transfer. This assumption, however, is far from the reality of what actually happens.

When you decide to become a surrogate, it’s essential to understand that you’re not just signing up for an immediate embryo transfer. This is a crucial point for potential surrogates to understand, especially those who are considering surrogacy in the near future. Before you even think about the actual pregnancy, there are several steps you’ll need to complete.

First, you’ll have to go through the intake process, where you’ll need to gather and submit all your medical records. While this might sound overwhelming, it’s important to note that the tasks involved are more time-consuming than difficult.

After you’re matched with intended parents, there’s a whole legal process to consider. You’ll need to negotiate and finalize a legal contract, a process that involves lawyers and, inevitably, takes time.

So, if you’re thinking, “I’d like to be pregnant by a certain month,” it’s vital to start the process several months in advance – typically, a good 3 to 6 months earlier than your desired pregnancy timeline.

Mistake #2: Expecting the First Embryo Transfer to Always Succeed

A significant misconception for many first-time surrogates (and even intended parents) is the belief that the first embryo transfer will be successful. This expectation, while optimistic, doesn’t always align with the realities of surrogacy and reproductive medicine. Although surrogacy has the highest success rates of any fertility treatment, it’s not always a straightforward path from transfer to pregnancy.

It’s crucial for surrogates to know that while we all hope for success on the first try, it might not always happen that way. The emotional impact of an unsuccessful transfer can be significant, especially for surrogates who are navigating this experience for the first time. It’s a new and often unexpected challenge, requiring emotional processing and support. The intended parents, who may have faced fertility struggles themselves, often understand this uncertainty, but for a surrogate, it can be a novel and daunting experience.

As a surrogate, recognizing that the path may not always be smooth is key to preparing yourself emotionally and mentally for the journey ahead. With the support of your case manager and the entire team at Fairfax Surrogacy, you can navigate these challenges with confidence and resilience.

Mistake #3: Underestimating the Emotional Connection

Many first-time surrogates underestimate the depth of the emotional connection that develops throughout the surrogacy journey. While surrogates understand that there will be emotional aspects to the process, the intensity of these feelings can often be surprising.

Surrogates form a bond not just with the baby they are carrying but also with the intended parents. The desire to bring joy to the intended parents and to be a part of their success story adds an emotional layer to the experience. Surrogates enter this journey with a heartfelt commitment to help intended parents achieve their dream of parenthood. This shared mission fosters a special bond, where the surrogate’s empathy and dedication extend far beyond the physical aspects of carrying their baby.

Many surrogates and intended parents find that their relationship evolves into a lasting friendship, continuing long after the surrogacy journey has ended. This enduring bond shows the profound and life-changing nature of the surrogacy experience, not just for the intended parents but also for the surrogate.

Understanding and preparing for the emotional aspects of surrogacy is vital. Acknowledging and embracing this emotional connection can make the surrogacy journey a more profound and fulfilling experience for everyone involved.

Mistake #4: Not Being Fully Educated on the Medications and Medical Process

A critical aspect often overlooked by first-time surrogates is the importance of being well-informed about the medications and medical procedures involved in the surrogacy process. Jumping into surrogacy without a clear understanding of these elements can lead to unexpected challenges and surprises.

When considering surrogacy, it’s essential to do thorough research and understand what the journey entails, including the medical aspects. Many surrogates, especially during their first journey, may not be fully aware of the need for medications, the nature of these medications (such as injections), and the possible need to travel for medical appointments if they are not near a fertility center.

At Fairfax Surrogacy, we ensure that all these details are clearly explained during the surrogacy intake process. However, it’s still crucial for potential surrogates to proactively seek information and ask questions. Speaking with experienced surrogates can provide valuable insights and help set realistic expectations.

Mistake #5: Not Discussing the Decision with Your Partner

An often-overlooked aspect of becoming a surrogate, especially for those in committed relationships, is the importance of having a thorough discussion with your partner before making the decision. Surrogacy is not just a journey for the surrogate alone; it significantly involves the surrogate’s partner as well.

It’s crucial to understand that your partner is as much a part of this process as you are. Having an in-depth conversation with your partner ensures that both of you are on the same page and fully understand the commitment, challenges, and rewards that surrogacy entails.

Pregnancy, even as a surrogate, affects the entire family dynamic. It can influence everything from daily routines to major life decisions like family vacations, moving to a new state, or other significant life changes. So it’s essential for surrogates to have candid conversations with their partners about the requirements and implications of surrogacy.

Navigate Your Surrogacy Journey with Expert Guidance and Support

Every surrogacy journey is a life-changing experience filled with its own unique challenges and rewards. From understanding the time commitment involved to preparing for the emotional aspects of the journey, being well-informed is key to a successful and fulfilling experience.

At Fairfax Surrogacy, we are dedicated to guiding you through every step of this remarkable journey. Our team is here to support you, providing the necessary information, emotional support, and guidance to ensure your surrogacy experience is as positive and rewarding as possible. Whether it’s your first time as a surrogate or you’re considering another journey, we are here to help you navigate the process every step of the way.

If you’re considering becoming a surrogate and want to learn more about the process, or if you have any questions about the journey ahead, we encourage you to reach out to us. Our experienced team at Fairfax Surrogacy is ready to provide you with all the information you need and support you in making this life-changing decision.